Constipation

No, no, Confusion

Was that it? I'm pretty sure. No, perhaps I'm not.

Ah, Concussion.

No, that's probably not it, either.
Oh, yes, I remember now.

This page is under ... arrest!

Under section 5.0.b of the Be Serious law.

 

Note: I have a new website. et3d.com will point there, eventually.

Once every fifty thousand years, when the planets are in perfect alignment, and the sun is eclipsed, a momentous event happens: ET's page gets updated. Those who are there at the exact moment are changed for life. It is a painful change, some say, but worthwhile nonetheless. It is a shift in viewpoint, from the world of colour and images, to words of text on a white page.

"Who is this ET?" you might ask. "Where did he come from?" Well, you need wonder no longer. ET, also known as ET "ET" ET (or just "ET" to his friends) came from a galaxy far far away, and crash landed on Earth, where he tries to blend in by pretending to be a computer geek. He currently lives in Jerusalem, Israel, where every day is a blast. He enjoys being lazy, bad jokes, and writing about himself in third person.

Don't go away. You can learn more about ET after the following message:


You are visitor number 1 since you are very special

Computers and stuff

In the days before time, when even God still had no idea he's about to be born, ET started his studies in computer science. It was an ardous process, and it took him about thirteen and a half thousand million years (give or take a few days) to finish his MSc. But surprising everyone, and not least of all himself, he finally finished writing those ten or so pages. You can see the results here.

Bereft of his purpose in life, ET wandered dejected for hours, until finally he came to Majorem, and became a graphics programmer for the game Ballerium. At least, that's what he pretended to do, whereas in reality he was plotting to take over the world -- or at least various internet newsgroups. No evil deed goes unrewarded, however. His attempts caught the eyes of the messengers of Evil on Earth, and in mid 2003 he was awarded a Microsoft MVP award. He was disappointed, however, that the award didn't include knowledge of the Secret Microsoft Handshake, nor the ability to see the True Form of Bill Gates.

Unfortunately, after a few years at Majorem, ET had to move to another job. He found AIseek, and hopes to remain there for years to come.


The Written Word

In the beginning, there was the Word. No one could hear it, however, because there was no sound, and no one could see it, because there was no light. So it was lost. It's a sad story, really.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Ah, fiction. Yes, that was it, and fantasy and science fiction in particular. Just like the name of the magazine The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, where my story "Possibilities" got published in the July 2003 issue. How's that for a seamless transition? By the way, these last two links are to Fictionwise, which is a great online store that sells e-books (mainly), including many speculative fiction ones (they started with these). It's run by very nice people and is a very nice shop.

For those of you who are interested in writing science fiction and fantasy, here are a few useful links:

The SFWA, the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America is an organisation for writers, surprisingly enough, not just from America. It has a good writing tips page. Another good page for writers that contains a lot of writing articles and tips is Holly Lisle Forward Motion.

Ralan.com contains a list of science fiction and fantasy markets of all types, where you can submit your stories -- very useful for collecting those rejection slips everyone is raving about..

I'm a member of Critters, an online critique group with thousands of writers from all over the world. If not for Critters, I probably wouldn't have gotten Possibilities published in F&SF (it passed twice through the Critters queue).


Other Stuff

All the wonderful surprises that this page will hold are still to come. It was but yesterday (plus a few months) that I discovered that my previous site was gone, prompting me to finally update the previous version, which had already calcified.

Until the next update (one of these years), I'll just mention that I dance Israeli folk dances under Boaz Cohen and study shido-kan karate from Iha Sensei's school at the Israeli branch here in Jerusalem, under sensei Amit Michaeli..

Before you leave, you should definitely look at my collection of pictures of chicks. It is not large by any means, but these are certainly quality chicks.

And lastly, but not leastly, here are a few pictures of my gorgeous hamsters.


Updates

This page has not been updated for a while, and requires a thorough revision. Given that this requires some work to be done right, I'm not going to do that soon. That said, I at least have to inform everyone that I got married in 2007 (but won't currently offer further details). Also, here's a link to a work in progress.

The life of Benny Lava.


Enjoyed yourself? Found some wrong links? Flee bites making you itch? Don't hesitate to send me an e-mail, and tell me all about it.


No animals had been harmed during the preparation of this page. 
Last updated on October 6, 2004